Locus of Control: How You Might Gain a Sense of Control When Everything Feels Out of Control (Anxiety Tool)

When things feel out of control, our worrying thoughts usually increase, as do rumination (replaying events) and negative inner chatter. 

There are no quick fixes and no 'one fix for all', but a handy tool is what's sometimes referred to as the 'locus of control' - the philosophy stemming back to ancient Greece and the philosophy of Stoicism (not to be confused with the modern use of being a stoic, which has butchered the beauty and value of stoicism). CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) also stems from stoicism and though CBT has many flaws and has harmed many autistic people, the principles are still valid.


The idea is that when we're excessively worrying, chances are that we're focusing on everything we can't control, such as world events, the economy, other people's thoughts about us or behaviours towards us, the cost of living, heartbreak, loss and a hundred other things. 

And it's valid to worry about these things.

However, it's often not helpful for our mental health.

A practice of paying attention to what we can control might be beneficial. 

It's an easy tool to explain but not an easy tool to apply. 


If we're looking at political events that are scaring us, harming us or depressing us, it's important, first of all, to note that it's ok that you're feeling scared, depressed or hurt. This tool is not an attempt to eliminate or invalidate your feelings or the seriousness of some things we can't control. The same goes for, say, death, and the loss of a loved one. Or bullying at work or living in poverty. 


Buddhists believe that life is suffering and only once we've embraced this truth can we be happy. The Locus of Control tool, or the stoicism philosophy is not trying to deny pain but rather offer empowerment through where you put your focus ("Where attention goes, energy flows" - I can't remember who said this but it's not the snake-oil salesman/coach Tony Robbins despite him trying to take credit online). 


If you feel helpless due to an external event - let's say, due to a presidential election - chances are that you'll feel more empowered if you focus on what you can control, rather than everything you can't.

So, focus on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behaviours, actions, reactions, attitude, choices... 

Focus on activism, moving to somewhere different, beginning to meditate, not reading the news, spending more time with loved ones, reaching out for help, protecting your energy, taking care of yourself and/or your community, seeing a therapist, learning kickboxing, making a plan for the future, focussing on what makes for a meaningful life and so on. 

Focus on your choices rather than the areas where you're helpless.

The better you become at focusing on your choices, the greater your resilience will grow. 


Writing this, considering world events (this was written in February 2025), feels almost like gaslighting. Please understand that I understand the severity of the situation and our pain as a global community. However, I keep thinking about one of the most powerful books I've ever read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl and how he harnessed this internal power of focus to survive Auschwitz (and thereby, also making this exercise part of the philosophy of existentialism and logotherapy). 


Potentially, this tool can be used on slightly lesser worries than global politics and more on "I worry about telling people I'm autistic and how they'll react". You can't control other people's reactions, so choose what you can control - who you tell, how you tell them, learning how to care less about other people's opinions and so on.


The download is there for inspiration. The idea is that you create your own tool/map or draw a new one each time you feel like you're not in control and add the external things that are occupying your mind, and then add the things you can control - remember you're allowed to ask other people for their thoughts to expand on your perspective of things you're in control of.